Day One Seventy Eight: Easy Does It Salmon

Salmon was on sale today at the grocery, so I snapped some up and made Martha's Salmon with Lime and Cilantro and Sesame Asparagus.  I chose this salmon recipe because it looks great, it's simple, only has a few ingredients and *was the first recipe my stupid phone with bad reception would upload at the grocery store.

*Real reason I chose this recipe.

I just happened to have all the ingredients for the Sesame Asparagus, so I threw that one in there as well.

What can I say about this Salmon recipe?  It's super simple.  It only has a few ingredients. It's healthy. Did I say it was easy already?  It's almost boring it's so easy, and then you taste it...and it's still pretty boring.  Good, but not spectacular.  Same goes the asparagus. :Snooze:

At least it was an easy recipe.  I might have mentioned that once or twice.

Day One Hundred Seventy Seven: There's A Mouse in My House

My daughter's class is talking about the creation story this week...not the Big Bang/ evolution of species one, but the one where an omnipresent being created the world and everything in it in seven days.

And you thought Martha was busy.

To go along with the story, I made Martha's Meringue Mice.  (It's a leap, I know. It was the best I could do.  You try finding a dessert you can relate to the creation of the entire universe.)  The recipe is a basic meringue recipe, but because of various distractions (holy hectic phone calls, Batman!) it took me three tries before I got the recipe right.

When I finally was happy with the meringue, I piped two blobs (technical culinary term) of meringue with my trusty pastry bag. I used a tweezer to apply black sesame seeds for the nose and eyes, and licorice for the tails.  Martha used slivered almonds for the ears, but because of the whole nut-allergy thing with kids, I used pink jelly beans.  They turned out like this:

I thought they were pretty dang cute, but my husband said they creeped him out.  They sort of look like little lab mice, which I guess is sort of creepy.  I didn't take a photo of all of them, but there were about fifty. I sort of felt like a cartoon villain, creating my own little mouse army for some nefarious purpose.

A really adorable, teeny-tiny mouse army.  That might cute you to death.

Day One Hundred Seventy Six: Don't Underestimate Your Muffins

Tomorrow I have a breakfast meeting for a school charity gala.  One of my sweet friends guilted asked me to be a chairperson for the gala, and now I'm one of the people responsible for the party.  She swears it won't be much work, but I'm pretty sure she's figured out how to clone herself and hasn't shared it with the rest of us.  :watching you, Miss A:

For the other suckers moms at the meeting, I decided to make Martha's Jam-Filled Coffee Cake Muffins.  Because the name sounds promising, the recipe only makes a dozen muffins, and I was highly confident of my success, I planned to make two batches.

Instead of regular 'ole muffin/cupcake cups, the recipe uses fancy baking cups. These cups are about 3 inches wide and 2 inches deep.  I was frustrated, but not surprised, that I couldn't find the fancy baking cups anywhere.  :exasperated:  Instead, I used extra deep cupcake cups.  I estimated that they are roughly the same size of the fancy baking cups, so I figured they should work.

Following the recipe, I divided the mix into twelve cups, spooned jam into each cup, and topped with brown-sugar crumble.  Easy.  After about fifteen minutes of baking time, however, I started to smell something burning.  It was the muffins.  Apparently, my estimating skills are not so great.  :shrug:  The extra deep cupcake cups are not at all a satisfactory substitute for the fancy baking cups.  The result was that much of the muffin batter ended up at the bottom of my oven:

Muffins after they had cooled:

Not exactly the success I had originally imagined.

Thankfully, I had already planned to make a second batch...so I tossed the first batch and began again....

The second time, I used divided the muffin dough into twice as many cups.  Resulting muffins:

These are really, really good.  And I can say that with some confidence because that statement doesn't involve any estimating.

Day One Hundred Seventy Five: Holy Homemade Pizza

I looked in my refrigerator this morning and found several food items that were about to expire: 1)  a carton of ricotta cheese, 2) a few ounces of Asiago cheese, and 3) some leftover mushrooms.  By some sort of blind luck, Martha has at least one recipe with all these ingredients.  I chose Martha's Thinnest Crust Pizza with Ricotta and Mushrooms.  It's made with (you may want to sit down for this) whole-wheat sandwich wraps as the crust.  As in the stuff you'd use to wrap up a wrap sandwich.  The most surprising part:  the recipe is easy, it tastes crazy good, AND it's only 305 calories a serving.

It's true.  It's like the Holy Grail of Homemade Pizza.

Day One Hundred Seventy Four: Oops, I Did (Asian) Again

Last night I made Martha's Hoisin-Roasted Game Hens.  Hoisin is a sort of sweet, spicy soy sauce.  Yes, I made Asian food....again.  :yawn:  Blame it on my husband.  After our weekend Asian Pork Fest, I've decided that while I love Asian food, I only like really good Asian food....and that caliber of Asian food is not cooked by me.

But ever the perfectionist, I decided to try, try again...Besides, I find those adorable little game hens hard to resist.  They are so tiny and cute!  Like the Kelly Ripa of poultry.

This recipe makes four game hens.  That's a lot of poultry to gamble with a new recipe, so I made two with the glaze and two without.  So if the Asian glaze isn't great, I still have two decent, if plain, hens. The glaze is easy:  just mix the ingredients and brush on the hen.  Throw it in the oven and it cooks in half an hour.  That's fast and easy enough for a school night.

Completed, glazed hen:

In retrospect, I didn't need to worry about the waste.  My husband, who I suspect may have been Asian in a former life, ate a whole hen himself.  Actually, "ate" is probably the wrong word.  "Inhaled" would be more accurate.  With the red peppers, it's much too spicy for my children.  They preferred the plain hens.  At least they are predictable little buggers.

I'm officially overdosed on Asian food.  We won't be ordering takeout anytime soon.

Day One Hundred Seventy Three: Chocolate Ice Cream Dance

Sunday my kids asked me for ice cream.  Being entirely too lazy to get out of the house a devoted mother, I made Martha's Chocolate Ice Cream.  A few weeks back, I made Martha's Vanilla Ice Cream, which did not go over well with the Resident Ice Cream Snob (a.k.a. my husband).  Martha's Vanilla Ice cream is too icy and not creamy enough.  The Chocolate Ice Cream recipe is identical to the unpopular Vanilla Ice Cream recipe (with the addition of cocoa powder), so I decided to tweak it.  (Read: make it more fattening.)

Both Martha's recipes call for the addition of two cups skim milk and two cups heavy cream.  To make the recipe more creamy, I used four cups of heavy cream.  Nix the skim milk.

I'm pretty sure the fat cells in my thighs were doing the Macarena.

My kids, of course, loved the ice cream.  My husband said, "you might have something here," a grudging concession that is tantamount to admitting defeat.

Hidden in the kitchen, I did a little dance of my own.

Day One Hundred Seventy Two: Pork, Pork, and More Pork Ribs

After a week of back-to-school madness, I was ready to enjoy a boring Saturday at home.  My husband was in the mood for Asian food, so he suggested we try Martha's Asian-Style Baby Back Ribs and Pork Fried Rice.  So we packed up the kids and headed off to the grocery for ingredients.

When we returned from the grocery with our three hungry children, seventeen bags of groceries, a few (new) gray hairs and my patience in shreds, my husband bothered to read the rib recipe.  Even though he had chosen both recipes, he protested that the recipe was flawed because the ribs are boiled in water before being broiled in the oven.  I pointed out that we were eating two dishes with pork as the main ingredient, so our menu had deeper problems.  :Oink Oink:

Either way, I wasn't heading back to the grocery for new ingredients for all the plastic surgery in California.

After subjecting those poor ribs to an ill-advised bath, and letting them cook under the (dreaded) broiler, our family sat down to a weeks worth of pork nice Asian meal.  As predicted, the ribs were tough.  I'm not a huge fan of fried rice, but I managed to choke down a few mouthfuls.  My husband complained about the tough ribs, but finished a whole rack by himself.  He raved about the fried rice and compared it to a rice omelet, which may have put me off omelets forever.  

Pork Fest 2012.   First and last year ever.

Day One Hundred Seventy One: Church of Rotisserie Chicken

I've recently become a big fan of the grocery rotisserie chicken.  What's not to love, really? They're tasty!  And already cooked!  At my grocery, the rotisserie chickens are actually cheaper than the uncooked chickens in the meat department.  :suspect a conspiracy:

Because of this newfound poultry resource, I've researched new ways to use chicken.  Luckily, Martha has a whole section of recipes using leftover rotisserie chicken.  There are a lot of interesting recipes there, but yesterday I tried Martha's Chicken, Mushroom and Goat Cheese Wrap.  Besides the ingredients in the title, it also has spinach, corn, jalapeno and prepared salsa. Sounds a little schizophrenic, I know.  It looks like Martha confused a wrap recipe with part of a taco recipe.    

But, after you put that seemingly odd mix of stuff in a wrap, prepare to be amazed.  It. is. delicious.  This wrap is worthy of a posh ladies-who-lunch bistro, but it's also hardy enough for the man in your life.  My hubby approved, and I was prepared for him to turn his chicken-is-a-lesser-meat nose up in the air.  

:Official Rotisserie Chicken Disciple:

Maybe I should start a club.  

Day One Hundred Seventy: I Pledge Allegiance to Martha Stewart

My kids went back to school this week.  My oldest daughter started Pre-K, which besides teaching her lots of fundamental skills, is basically an excuse to have a ridiculous amount of fun every day.  Seriously, these pre-k teachers are like a child's personal cruise director.  :you have my eternal gratitude, ladies:

This week, the pre-k class is talking about the American flag and learning the Pledge of Allegiance.  So as a fun treat, I made Martha's Flag Cake.

Martha's version of the cake in question:

I saw this cake in MS Living years ago....and every summer on MarthaStewart.com every year since.  I have always been more than a little intimidated by this cake.  I could only imagine the utter mess I would make of all those stripes.  My version was destined to look like an impressionist-version of an American flag.  People would look at it, tilt their heads and say in unison, "Oh, it's supposed to be a flag!"

So my expectation of success was pretty low.

After making the two cakes, layering and icing them,  I started (very carefully) applying the raspberries and blueberries.  I piped a row of stars between each line using my trusty pastry bag.  After about ten minutes (seriously), I had this:

The icing could have been more skillfully applied (I won't be working as a pastry chef any time soon), but it turned out pretty, well.....pretty.  I was surprised.  I proudly turned in this assignment to my daughter's Pre-K teacher.  I'm pretty it went over well.  The platter came back empty.

Day One Hundred Sixty Nine: How to Marry a Toffee Millionaires

Ever since I made those toffee cookies and toffee butterscotch blondies, I've been having toffee-flavored dreams.  So Wednesday I made Martha's Toffee Millionaires.  The recipe is pretty simple and after I tell you what's in them, you'll be having toffee-flavored dreams too.

The base of these bars is a tasty shortbread.  I'm usually not a fan of shortbread because it's normally dry and tastes like sand.  This shortbread is made with brown sugar and butter.  It's so rich and moist you have to mold it like play-doh into the pan.

:cue the child labor to help:

The topping is simply melted toffee mixed with cream.  Pour it on the baked crust and find something to do while you wait for the pan to cool.

No seriously.  Leave the kitchen.  You'll be tempted to cut into these puppies immediately.

When you taste these bars, you'll realize why they are named "millionaires".  Like a millionaire, these bars are just rich enough, but not too rich.  You may feel like you've won the lottery, but not like you married Bill Gates.

Day One Hundred Sixty Eight: Gold Medal Chicken and Broccoli Pockets

My children, like most elementary-age children, don't like to try new things.  They also don't like food that has been mixed together.  The more room between the spaghetti and sauce, the better.  Getting them to try new food that is mixed together is worthy of a gold medal.  :hello, Michael Phelps:

So, it was with some trepidation that I served Martha's Chicken and Broccoli Pockets tonight.  I was ready for the hard sell: 

"It's like pizza, but rolled up!" 

"It's chicken and cheese and broccoli!  You love that stuff!"

"If you eat it, I'll buy you a car!"

(That last one was for emergency purposes only.) 

So I was surprised when my kids not only ate these, but actually told me they liked them!  I nearly did a victory dance around the kitchen.  

In reality, I actually did do a victory dance, but it was only in front of the sink, and no one witnessed it.

It's all cool.  But if you see me on a box of Wheaties, you'll know why.

Day One Hundred Sixty Seven: Back To School Spaghetti Carbonara

Monday was the first day of school at my house.  This means that summer vacation is officially over and I now have two children in school.  :gulp:

Besides feeling outrageously old, I have never been so happy for school to start in my life.

For Monday night dinner, I wanted to make something the kids would like and something that would be simple to make...So I decided on Martha's Spaghetti Carbonara.  I've never made carbonara before, but Martha says it's usually made with bacon, eggs and cheese.  This one adds half-and-half for "a silky texture."  What that last part means, I'm not sure.

All you have to do is cook the pasta and bacon. Toss with the (raw) eggs and cheese and it's done.  The hot pasta cooks the egg.  :believe it:

If I said that my children inhaled this dish, it would be an understatement. All I know is that I took the photo below and walked over to the sink.  When I turned around, all I saw were empty plates...with the exception of the sliced cucumber, which took the normal amount of coaxing to disappear.  

Spaghetti Carbonara with impatient fingers ready to pounce:

My husband even liked this....although he didn't eat it from a brightly-colored plastic plate.

Day One Hundred Sixty Six: Not So Sexy Chores

I have a gas cooktop.  About a month ago the burners of said cooktop started to act funny.  "Funny" as in, they stopped working correctly.  I stopped using one burner altogether because I was pretty sure my kitchen might explode before the burner lit.  I was afraid I would have to hire a handyman with the butt cleavage to come fix it.

And I'm not fond of butt cleavage.

So yesterday I took matters into my own hands and decided to investigate.  According to Martha, gas burners can sometimes become clogged.  The ports, or the small holes through which the gas flows, can become clogged with food particles or cleaning products.  MS Homekeeping, p. 76.  Martha suggests using a paper clip or piece of wire to clear the ports. No fancy tools needed: 

(That's me wielding an opened paper clip.)

The problem seems to be solved.  :fingers crossed:  Gotta say--this was probably the easiest Martha chore so far.  Now I don't have to worry about my house blowing up the next time I want to cook something...and the only cleavage in the house...belonged to me.

Day One Hundred Sixty Five: I'm a Poet and I Didn't Know It Gift Wrap

On Saturday I went to a "Sip n' See", to sip champagne and see my girlfriend's new baby girl.  There is absolutely nothing cuter than a newborn baby, and this baby was no exception.  

The arrival of a new baby is such a touching event that I decided to wrap the gift using Martha's Poetic Wrappings idea.  I printed a verse on vellum paper and used it to wrap around the gift.  I used the lyrics to The Beatles "Then There Was You" because it's sweet but not overly sappy.  That didn't stop me, however, from tearing up when I read it.  :overly sentimental here: 

Vellum with printed lyrics:

Completed present with lyrics:

I think it turned out pretty cute, and since my friend is a first-time mom, I have a feeling this little addition may end up in her scrap book.

Congrats, C.  She's a keeper!

Day One Hundred Sixty Four: Kindergarten is a Rocky Road Brownie

My two eldest children had school orientation today.  This is the kids' opportunity to meet the teachers, the teachers' opportunity to meet the kids, and my opportunity to begin buttering-up the teachers as insurance for future offenses by my children.  (Since they don't actually receive grades in Kindergarten and Pre-School, I don't consider this a bribe.  I think of it as establishing good will.)

In this case, good will comes in the form of Martha's Rocky Road Brownies.  I actually made a batch of these yesterday, but between my nibbling a few and my children inhaling the rest, I had to make another batch for the teachers today.

These brownies are easy.  They are basically fudge brownies sprinkled with rocky road ingredients (nuts, chocolate and marshmallows).  My son had a ball throwing on the toppings.  He managed to sneak more than a few marshmallows into his mouth.

And they actually look delicious too:

I'm just hoping the teachers remember these goodies on the day my children decide to embrace their inner Class Clown.

Considering my childrens' genes, it's inevitable.

Day One Hundred Sixty Three: Peanut Butter Birthday Bars

I have a sweet friend who is turning thirty one twenty nine tomorrow.  I wanted to make a birthday treat for her and decided to try Martha's No-Bake Peanut Butter Bars.  I love the combination of chocolate and peanut butter, but since my son is highly allergic to peanuts, I rarely make anything with peanut butter.

Even no-baking the peanut butter caused a near-mutany at my house:

My son:    Mom? :holding nose: Are you finished with the peanut butter?  It stinks.

Me:    Almost finished, sweetie.

My son:   :still holding nose:   You know I'm allergic to peanuts, right?  And...they are smelling up the house.

Me:    Yes, I remember that you are allergic to peanuts.  These treats aren't for you.

My son:   :still holding nose:  Okay....Do you have something I could use to pinch my nose so I don't have to smell the peanut butter?

Me:  Uh, no.

My son:  :still holding nose:  You should take that peanut butter outside.

Me:   I'm almost done.  I promise.

My son:  :still holding nose:  Maybe I'll go outside...

This continued until I had sealed the offending peanut butter away in the refrigerator.

These bars were pretty good, although given the grief my son gave me for the duration of this project, I doubt I'll make them again.  I hope my friend liked them, though.  She is totally worth all the complaining.

Day One Hundred Sixty Two: Chocolate Chip Meringue Bandwagon

My son has jumped on the meringue bandwagon.  Ever since I started making meringues for this blog, my son has been begging me to make more.  So Wednesday I made Martha's Chocolate Chip Meringues just for him.  These meringues are basically meringue chocolate chip cookies.  In other words, they are delicious.

Heavenly.

When they come out of the oven, the meringue outside is crispy...

...and the chocolate chips inside are warm and melted.  

I made enough to share and brought them to a function for my daughter's school.   I got an embarrassing number of compliments on them, and more than one request for the recipe.  

This bandwagon is going to get crowded.

Day One Hundred Sixty One: Cutting the Mustard Tuna Steak

Tuesday I made Martha's Tuna with Mustard Seed Crust because a rare tuna steak is the kind of fish my husband is mad about.

The recipe calls for coarsely ground mustard seed.  As in: mustard seed that you have grounded.  So, I got out my trusty mortar and pestle and got to grinding. This is the photo of the seeds when I started grinding:  

I ground the mustard seeds for fifteen minutes and this is the result:

...And after another ten minutes:

After thirty minutes, I had spilled half the mustard seeds on the counter and a blister was forming on my palm. There was still had no appreciable progress, so I broke down and ground them in very small batches, pounding them into submission.

It was better than therapy.

After dredging the tuna in the coarsely ground mustard seed, the tuna is very quickly cooked over medium heat.  The result:

One would assume that mustard seed would taste very strongly of mustard.  I expected the tuna to basically taste like I had dipped it in spicy mustard.  It didn't.  In fact, the taste was quite surprising.

It was boring as hell.

The mustard seed tastes faintly of mustard but the dish was pretty, well....blah.  I ended up adding quite a bit of red pepper, just to spice it up.  BUT, with that small addition, the dish was a colossal hit with my husband.

And now I have an alternative to therapy.

Day One Hundred Sixty: Fruity Ice Pops

Summer is almost over.

For us, Summer Vacation officially ends Friday.  So, before the fun is over, my son and I spent some time yesterday hanging out by the pool.  As a little summertime treat, I made Martha's Fruit Salad Ice Pops.   Even if you don't own a set of those popsicle molds, Martha has instructions on how to make them with plastic cups.

All you do is slice up some fruit and pour in white grape juice.  Seriously, how pretty are these?

My son was so tickled by these ice pops, he could barely wipe the smile off his face.

Just for making these my son told me I deserved breakfast in bed every day.   Not that I'm going to get breakfast in bed everyday, just that I deserved it.  I'm pretty sure that means I'm the best mom ever.    

Day One Hundred Fifty Nine: Oatmeal Toffee (Breakfast) Cookies

The other day I made these Butterscotch Blondies for a friend.  The recipe uses toffee bits.  Half a bag of toffee bits to be exact.  What am I going to do with the other half a bag of toffee bits?  :exasperated: Luckily, I found Martha's Oatmeal Toffee Cookies.  This recipe calls for   :drum roll:    just about half a bag of toffee bits.   It's perfect.  It's like these two recipes were separated at birth.

Or something like that.

The toffee cookies were chewy and sweet.  Plus, they have dried cherries and oatmeal in them, which almost* makes them acceptable breakfast food.
 
*This statement is not, nor is intended to be, a recommendation for you to eat cookies at breakfast.  It is, in fact, a joke.  And no, Mom, I'm not feeding my children cookies for breakfast.

Day One Hundred Fifty Eight: Replacement Spinach and Prosciutto Lasagna

I used to have this staggering lasagna recipe.  As I've mentioned before, the recipe grew legs and ran away with the circus.  Since it's tragic disappearance, I've rarely made lasagna.  I'm in mourning.

But the other day I ran across Martha's recipe for Spinach and Prosciutto Lasagna.   I thought:
I like spinach.
I like prosciutto.
Let's bake them together between layers of carbohydrates and mozzarella!  :yippee!:
It's a brilliant idea and I should have thought of it sooner.  

Martha suggests you use uncooked lasagna and store-bought sauce.  So I did.  Who am I to argue with Martha?  (Confession:  I am lazy and probably would have done this anyway.)

To our delight, the lasagna turned out flavorful and moist.  The salty prosciutto was a nice touch and turned an otherwise vegetarian dish into a meal suitable for my carnivorous husband.  And since it only makes half a pan, we don't have to eat lasagna for the next two weeks.

Old lasagna recipe??  What old lasagna recipe?

Day One Hundred Fifty Seven: Some More S'mores?

My son randomly asked for s'mores today.  Since I had the ingredients already (read:  I didn't have to make a special trip to the grocery), I readily consented.

Of course, Martha even has a recipe for s'mores.  Her recipe for Grilled S'mores is not only easy, but also doesn't require an open flame or homemade marshmallows.  I wasn't up for making homemade marshmallows, but my inner cave-woman was intrigued by the open flame.  Fortunately, Martha also has a recipe for making s'mores where the marshmallows are toasted over a gas flame.  Lucky me.

Roasting marshmallows over a gas flame inside is much like roasting them outside over a fire, with some important differences.  The advantages are:
1) You can roast marshmallows inside even when the weather bad outside,
2) You don't have to make a fire, and
3) You don't have to worry about those pesky insects.

The disadvantages are:
1) You don't get to make a fire,
2) Your marshmallow will still catch on fire, and
3) You have to clean up your melted marshmallow mess afterwards.

During this process, one of my marshmallows caught fire causing my son to go into near-panic and later tell my husband that I had caught the house on fire. Not seeing any actual fire damage, this resulted in my husband asking several questions about what the heck we are doing at home while he is at work.

Three s'mores were completed.  This is Miss Photogenic:

Day One Hundred Fifty Six: Divorce Stir-Fry

I have a dear, sweet friend whose husband, Alfie*, was previously married.  We refer to this other wife as his Practice Wife.  When Alfie and the Practice Wife were divorced, Alfie generously gave the Practice Wife everything but the wok.  (This is not an Asian euphemism for "everything but the kitchen sink."  He only wanted the wok.)  To me, this act was not only exceedingly generous, but possibly the best burn in the history of divorce.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent. 

I'm not sure why Alfie only wanted the wok. I do know that stir-fry cooking is especially good for cooks whose skills extend mostly to the cutting of veggies and boiling water, since you only have to cut the ingredients, throw them in the wok and make some rice. (This is no reflection on Alfie's cooking skills now, which are legendary.)

And so, when I made Martha's Beef Stir-fry with Snap Peas, I thought of my dear friend and Alfie. While this easy recipe doesn't technically require a wok, you could certainly use yours, or ask your ex if you could borrow one.

Day One Hundred Fifty Five: Phone Number list

If you have children, a house, pet(s), or a pulse, you need Martha's Dry Erase Important Numbers decal.  It has a place for all your important numbers, sticks to anything, is removable, and its repositionable* adhesive leaves no residue. 

* Actual word. Add to your spell check. 

I wrote down all our important digits and posted this baby inside a cabinet door near the phone.  Now, if I have an emergency where one of my children needs the pediatrician, the others need a babysitter, while I desperately need a teeth cleaning, my husband needs a prescription refilled, our fish gets sick, electricity goes out, toilet stops up, our house gets broken into, someone is poisoned, I smell a gas leak, and my mobile phone isn't working (entirely possible scenario), I'll have all the numbers written down and posted in a handy spot. 

Thanks, Martha.

Day One Hundred Fifty Four: Fifty Shades of Filet

My hubby has been out of town.  To welcome him home I made Martha's Pepper-Crusted Filet Mignon.  It's a simple twist on our usual steak-on-the-grill fare.

 I like that Martha reminds us to tie up the filets before cooking.  It helps the meat keep its shape.  Consider it Spanx for your meat.  My butcher, while very good, never sells meat tied up.  So I took the opportunity to practice my inner Christian Grey and tie the meat up myself.

Steak tied up like Fifty Shades of Grey:

(Yes, I did go there.)

The pepper-crusted steaks were very good...although I may have taken the pepper a little too far.  The recipe says "season filets generously" with pepper, not "batter filets in pepper", which is basically what I did. I probably could have dropped the whole thing in a deep-fryer.

My shapely, well-seasoned filet:

I think Christian Grey would be approve. 

Day One Hundred Fifty Three: Dispensation Butterscotch Blondies

I have a dear, adorable girlfriend who recently loaned me a book about How To Raise Kids and Not Throw Yourself From A High Building.*  It was a helpful read and I'm glad she loaned it to me.  The thing is, I sort of kept it for a long time.  Like much, much longer than I should have, considering it was a really short book.  (Sorry, M!)  So, upon returning the book, I decided to make her Martha's Butterscotch Blondies as an apology gift.  (It would be cuter if she were actually a blonde, but she's a brunette.) 

*Not actual title

No matter the color of her hair, I had never heard of "Blondies" before.  I guess they are named such because they are non-brown brownies. I'm sure there is racial/ethnic/sexist slur in there somewhere, but I'm really much too apathetic to worry about it.   

Beware: the recipe calls for you to cook these for 45 minutes.  That is about forty minutes too long.  If you cook them for 45 minutes, they will be like a blonde pet rock.  Cook them for about twenty minutes and they will turn out like so: 

Crispy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside.

Dispensation granted.

Day One Hundred Fifty Two: Leftover Tomato Salad

Last month I made Martha's  Tomato, Corn and Avocado Salad.  Ah-mazing.  It was so tasty, I made it for my "book club" last week.  (Raw corn, who knew?)  Since I had some leftover tomatoes I wanted to treat my hubby, I decided to try this variation:  Martha's Tomato and Avocado Salad.  I used grape tomatoes, but Martha used normal-sized 'maters.

Just cut up the tomatoes and avocados and toss with extra-virgin olive oil, salt and pepper.  The result:

This is a nice salad.  It isn't quite as fresh and delicious as the Tomato, Corn and Avocado Salad, but it's so easy, you probably won't mind.

Day One Hundred Fifty One: Hip Herb-Crusted Salmon

In her section on Healthy Main Dishes, I found a recipe for Martha's Herb-Crusted Salmon.  Rest easy, the "crust" is made from a few pieces of bread and some herbs.  It's not breaded like fried chicken.  (My hips are relieved.)

Salmon ready for the oven:

Just take the salmon, brush with dijon mustard and pat on your crumb mixture.  Pop in the oven and serve over a salad:

This was really good...and really, REALLY easy.  The flavor is great and the crumbs make a nice crispy crust.  This one should go on your dinner rotation.  (Your hips will thank you.)

Day One Hundred Fifty: So-So Soba Salad

Because I'm always looking for something Martha-ish to do, my favorite resource is MarthaStewart.com.  I can research my projects just about anywhere, especially with my iPhone or iPad.  

The one problem with using these tools is that I sometimes find myself accidentally selecting a link I'm not interested in.  :darn amazing touch-screen technology:   This is how I found Martha's recipe for Papaya, Shrimp and Soba Salad.  Soba, in case you were wondering, are Asian noodles.  My husband loves stir fry, so I thought I would give it a try.  It also happens to be a pretty healthy dish.

Like most Asian recipes, however, it has an ingredient list a mile long.  :fair warning:

Cutting the papaya: 

This recipe uses something called Tamarind concentrate.  According to wikipedia, Tamarind is a tropical fruit with a sweet and sour taste.  I looked for it a good twenty minutes before I asked a store clerk.  It took him approximately three seconds to locate it.

Lesson here, Gentlemen:  stop and ask for directions.

My husband really liked this dish.  I really didn't.  To me, the Tamarind makes it taste like I spilled a fruity cocktail on my stir-fry, but decided to eat it anyway...Go ahead.  Pause and consider the thought.


:pause for contemplation:



I'm just thinking:  not the best flavor combo.

Day One Hundred Forty Nine: Pull Their Heartstring Cards

My son has about thirty kids in his Kindergarten grade. One of these children, a little girl, is moving to Europe in a few weeks.  We are going to miss her and her adorable parents immensely.  But, before they head off, her family is having a surprise going-away party for her.

Just so she knows she will miss her, my son and I made one of Martha's Heartstring Cards.  Since she'll be flying off to Europe, we made her a little airplane with her name on it.  The clouds read: We will miss you.

Our card isn't quite as cute as Martha's...but I'm hoping that since the recipient is only five-years old, color will be more important than execution.

Bon Voyage, sweetie!  :tear:

Day One Hundred Forty Eight: Map Wrap

On Thursday, we celebrated a friend's birthday with dinner on the town.  I bought a super-cute gift for the birthday girl, but needed a gift wrap idea as clever as she is.  Martha's idea of using Recycled Gift Wrap was perfect.  I happened to have a box of maps (who uses paper maps anymore?) saved from several trips to Europe.  As a nod to the Olympics, I used a map of London:

(That's Kensington Gardens right in the middle)

...and wrapped the whole thing up with some coordinating ribbon...

The result was super cute, even if I did have to cut through some of my favorite neighborhoods.

Day One Hundred Forty Seven: Lionel Richie's Mushroom Tart

There are a few vegetarians in my book club.  I hate the idea of any guest feeling left out, so I always make a meatless main dish. :such a thoughtful hostess:  For this month's meeting, I made Martha's Mushroom Tart.  

I've mentioned this before, but I love tarts.  They are easy-like-Sunday-morning but impressive-looking...especially when you start with store-bought pastry.  (I'm not cheating, the recipe calls for it.) This one mixes onions, spinach, mushroom and goat cheese.  You may want to become vegetarian just so you have an excuse to eat this tart more often.

I made three of these tarts and was secretly thrilled when there were leftovers.  More for me!

I'll have to send one to Lionel.

Day One Hundred Forty Six: Not-Exactly-A-Book Club Cake

Every month an intrepid group of friends meet to discuss important topics like reality television, misbehaving children and celebrity gossip. Tears of laughter are shed.  A great deal of wine is consumed. We call this group Book Club.*

*  Technically there is a book assigned, but it is rarely discussed 

at any length, unless it relates to one of the topics listed above. 

This month, Book Club was at my house.  For dessert, I made Martha's Coffee Meringue-Ice Cream Cake.  Since meringue is such a favorite, I knew it would be a big hit.

The cake is made by smoothing coffee ice cream between two meringue layers.  The meringue is laced with liquid coffee extract, which not only gives it nice flavor, it also makes pretty coffee-colored swirls in the meringue.

I had no problems with my meringue-ice cream cake...until I tried to soften the ice cream using my stand mixer per the recipe.  I forgot to "lock" the mixer in the down position and it opened up, hurling a half-gallon of ice cream across my kitchen.  Thankfully, I had an extra carton of ice cream in the freezer and managed to salvage the recipe.

My floor is still a bit sticky.

I thought the dessert was delish, and if the lack of leftovers was any indication, my Book Club did too.

Day One Hundred Forty Five: Turtle-y Good Brownie

A few days ago I came across Martha's recipe for Turtle Brownies.  The recipe describes them as a "moist, chocolaty brownie topped with caramel and nuts."

You had me at caramel.

If caramel had a fan club, I would be the president.  My husband's Aunt Jane makes caramel candies from scratch.  They are sweet, chewy bites of browned sugar heaven; and, because she is tantamount to my very personal candy fairy, she sends me these caramel candies every Christmas.

I love Jane.

But back to the Turtle Brownies:  these brownies are ah-ma-zing.  It is totally worth the pain effort it takes to make the caramel topping.  It will take most of your willpower to wait the hour it takes for the topping to chill in the refrigerator.  Refrain yourself.  It's worth the wait.

p.s.  These are richer than Bill Gates, so you'll want to share with a friend.