Day One Hundred Fourteen: McCarthy on Dust

My son, bless him, has been sick this week.  Actually, he's been suffering with allergies since I moved him into his own room.   I started to wonder if there isn't something in his new room that is causing him problems.  My inner Martha Stewart/ Senator McCarthy kicked in and I started to investigate, throwing suspicion everywhere. Maybe the mattress needed replacing? Maybe he was allergic to the pillows? Maybe the entire house was infested with deadly black mold?

According to Martha, in a child's bedroom, you should wash all bedding materials, including blankets and mattress pads every week, eliminate fabric wall hangings, wash stuffed toys regularly, install dustable blinds instead of drapes, and minimize upholstered furniture.  MS Homekeeping Handbook, p. 301.  

Hmmm.  This is a problem.  My son's upholstered bed is covered in an adorable bedspread, but I can't recall the last time either was cleaned. On the bed sits a large feather duvet that (according to Martha) is teeming with dust mites.  On the floor, he has several baskets of stuffed animals, some of which were mine as a child.  I last washed his teddy bear when it accidentally fell into the toilet two years ago.  On the walls there are drapes that were last cleaned on the first of Never.

I'm ashamed.  I've flagrantly broken every rule.  No wonder the poor kid wakes up with a stuffy nose. :motheroftheyear:

So I spent today taking down drapes, removing and cleaning every bit of bedding material and upholstery I could, and washing Barry the Teddy Bear and all his furry friends.  The room is clean of all offending items.  I've quelled any radical dust-takeover at my house.   Although I'm having someone come and check about the mold.

Just to be safe.

Day One Hundred Thirteen: All Hail The Organizing Hero

My kids have too many toys.  

I mean, it's not like our house is overrun with toys or anything, but with three kids, we have our fair share of toys.  Sometimes I think they mate like rabbits and multiply overnight.  It's a daily battle to keep them organized and stored.  I'm a bit of a toy Nazi, if truth be told.  I'm tossing un-used toys all the time.  Like Hitler, however, I'm losing the war. 

Fortunately for me, I have Martha's Erasable Labels I bought from my local office supply store.  Following Martha's instructions, I divided the toys into categories and labeled each. Since I completed this project after the kids went to sleep, I was able to throw away donate some of our less-appreciated toys without the kids suspecting a thing. 

Now I'm Caesar and these toys are Turkey...or, uh...France. :dozedoffduringthatclass:  

Veni. Vidi. Vici.  

I came.  I saw.  I organized.    

Day One Hundred Twelve: No-Bake Birthday Cheesecake

We have a very important member of our extended family.  She is known to many as Sarah.  She is listed in my mobile phone contacts under "lifesaver".  More accurately she is my sanity-saver and babysitter.

Today is her birthday and since cheesecake is her thing, I decided to make her Martha's No-Bake Cheesecake.  Thankfully, "no-bake" equals "couldn't-be-easier".

First you crush a bunch of graham crackers into a fine crumb:

Then mix in some melted butter to create the crust:

 Finished crust:

Pour the cream cheese and condensed milk filling into the crust and chill in refrigerator for a few hours:

Since I gave it to her to bring home and enjoy, I didn't get a great photo.  But I hear Sarah's healthier-than-thou hubby had two slices.

So it must have been good.

:insert wild cheers of applause:

Day One Hundred Eleven: Soft Chocolate Chip Cardboard

I ran across a recipe for Martha's Soft Chocolate Chip Cookies today.  I love a soft cookie and this one has the magic ingredient:  sour cream.  

Dough with two kinds of chocolate chips:

The dough is so soft, it has to freeze for ten minutes before it can be scooped onto the baking pan. The consistency is almost like mousse.  (Confession: I may have tried a spoonful of dough at this point... okay, maybe a few.)

Cookies ready for baking:

Delicious-looking chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven:

True to the name, these cookies are very soft.  Luckily there is a generous helping of chocolate chips because the cookie dough itself tastes like cardboard.  Salty cardboard.  Not that I've ever eaten salty cardboard, but it's what I imagine salty cardboard tastes like.

Let's just stand back and admire the photo.  It's less fattening that way anyway.

Day One Hundred Ten: Secret(ly disgusting) Kitchen Cures

We returned from vacation today.  Along with many wonderful memories, I've brought back a cold.  As I write this, I'm home alone with three sleeping children and no cold medicine.  Since waking them all, putting them in the car, then dragging them into the pharmacy and back home is pretty much out of the question, I desperately looked to Martha for some suggestions.

Not surprisingly, Martha has an entire article on Secret Kitchen Cures. Along with turmeric for pimples and cloves for toothaches, Martha recommends using garlic for treating the common cold.  According to the article, "garlic's strong antimicrobial properties make it effective for fending off and treating the common cold."  The article suggests peeling a couple garlic cloves, dipping in honey and chewing.

Okay, I'm desperate, but not that desperate.    

Since I don't want to add gagging to my list of symptoms, I'm going to try the second suggestion: adding warm water and honey to minced garlic cloves, and swallowing without chewing.  Here's what that looks like:

Never say I don't go the extra mile for this blog.

I actually did manage to eat this...and keep it down.  Surprisingly, I felt marginally better for a while afterwards.  Before I was forced to consider a second dose of garlic, however, I found an expired bottle of Nyquil at the back of the medicine cabinet. That did the trick.

Better living through chemistry.  I'll save the garlic for cooking.

Day One Hundred Nine: Merry Christmas Body Oil

The weather was a little sketchy at the beach today, which gave me a moment to make Martha's DIY Grapeseed Body Oil.  Now that my skin has been scrubbed, Martha suggests keeping it moisturized with body oil.  Martha recommends using grapeseed oil for its antioxidant properties and lightweight feel.

To make the body oil, all you do is mix the grapeseed oil with any fragrant essential oil.  I made a couple, just to try them out.  I choose lavender (because I love the smell) and peppermint (because I'm hoping the minty smell will clear out my stuffy nose).

Just as Martha promised, the grapeseed oil isn't heavy and soaks into your skin quite quickly.  Both the lavender and the peppermint essential oils smelled lovely, as expected.  The peppermint body oil, while moisturizing, had other unanticipated qualities.  When the rain stopped, I applied the peppermint body oil and left to take in some shopping.  A few minutes later, I began to experience a lovely cool sensation, which quickly turned into a vague tingling.  After half an hour, I had a sneaking suspicion I smelled like Bengay.  Worried, I began to follow a group of senior citizens, hoping the other shoppers would associate the eau de medicine cabinet aroma with them, and not me.  I realized I was unsuccessful when a nearby child asked his mother why it smelled like Christmas.

I guess smelling like Santa is better than smelling like I robbed a nursing home.

Day One Hundred Eight: How To Drink Tequila At Sunrise

When you are at the beach, it's a license to drink frivolous drinks:  Drinks you may not normally be caught dead drinking.  Drinks your waistline would prefer you didn't consume.  Brightly colored drinks...that come with their own accessories.  Like fancy straws.  Or umbrellas.  

So today I made Martha's Tequila Sunrise.  I decided to make these because they look delicious and I figured (read: hoped) it would make a nice photo. It's a simple recipe, assuming you can find all the ingredients and don't spend half your vacation searching the juice aisle for pomegranate juice. 

Ingredients: OJ, Pomegranate juice, tequila.

Pour (strictly adhering to the instructions) and you come up with this looker:

This happens to be an excellent way to use the tequila that's left over from the margaritas you made last night, which you've sworn never to drink again.

And (as my husband pointed out), since it contains orange juice, no one will look askance at you drinking this cocktail in the morning.  

Day One Hundred Seven: Orange-You-Glad-You-Made-This Scrub

I wanted to go to a spa for my vacation, but since I had to take my three kids along (and most spa-guests don't think screaming children are relaxing), we went to the beach instead.  This means I had to bring the spa to me.  

To that end, today I made Martha's Orange-Jasmine Scrub.  It's simple, meant to be used at the beach, and smells like you just walked into a grove of orange trees...Or like you just juiced a couple hundred oranges.  At any rate, add a few drops of sweet orange and jasmine essential oils to a jar of sea salts, add a few drops of oil and two handfuls of very wet sand.  Sitting at the water's edge, scrub your arms and legs, paying special attention to rough spots. Rinse your body clean in the waves.  

My girlfriend and I tried this out today.  I don't know if it was the smell of oranges or my adorable friend, but my son was drawn to the process.  He took over scrubbing my friend's feet (and legs!).  My son was doing such a thorough job, I began to joke with my friend's husband that perhaps my son was working an angle on his wife.  It was mildly shocking.  My son finally ran out of scrub, requested more from me (request denied) and quickly became bored of us old ladies.    

Son hard at work:

This scrub smells clean (and a little provocative, dare I say it). I'm glad I made a large batch because I will be using it again.

Maybe this time mommy can get a little attention. :choppedliver:

Day One Hundred Six: Don't Be Moody Mists

In case you were wondering where in the world I had wondered off to, I was having some technical difficulties.  My I.T. Department My husband has solved the problem and I am back in working order.

Now then. Where was I?

 Oh yes.  Today I made one of Martha's Mood Mists.  Martha says these mists "are the simplest way to experience aromatherapy for yourself."  You can spray the air, mist your hair or spritz them on your linens.  Since I'm always looking for excuses to relax, I chose Martha's Calm-Me-Down Mood Mist.

These mists are super simple. Take a mini spray bottle and fill it with water.  The Calm-Me-Down Mood Mist is a mixture of lavender (natch), frankincense (you've heard of that one before), and something called bergamot.  I'm not exactly sure what bergamot is, but it smells vaguely citrusy.

The resulting fragrance is very soothing and something one would spend entirely too much money on at some terribly adorable bath shop.  I'm going to start carrying my bottle around in my purse and spritzing people I think need to relax. I can think of a parent and a few State Employees who could really use some aromatherapy.  I may be arrested for battery or confused for a domestic terrorist, but think of all the good I'd be doing.

Day One Hundred Five: Whopper-Flopper Hair Treatment

As part of my vacation-self-pampering mission, I decided to try Martha's Protective Hair Treatment.  It's simple and Martha claims that I can use the hours spent relaxing on the beach to improve the condition of my hair.

Uh, when can I start?

Martha says to apply several tablespoons of natural oil to dry hair, comb through, and braid or wrap your hair for the rest of the day.  When you return home, shampoo, style and enjoy looking like a Pantene commercial.

I tried this treatment yesterday.  After applying the oil, I put on a hat and sat enjoying the sun and surf, imagining how glossy and healthy my hair was going to look at dinner.  I'm pretty sure I had a vague grin on my face at the thought.  After a while the idea of all that oil in my hair started to gross me out.  I was pretty sure I smelled like the person who manages the french fry deep fryer at a fast food restaurant.


(This is where I would have put a photo of my greasy-looking hair if I wasn't quite so vain.)


Confession:  I couldn't last all day with that stuff in my hair.  I lasted about an hour before I started being thankful I didn't know anyone around...except of course, my family and close friends...but they knew I was weird already.

I did get some compliments on my hair, though.  :shrug:

Day One Hundred Four: Relaxing Body Scrub

I'm on vacation and therefore should be enjoying something commonly referred to as "relaxing". You may have heard of this activity (or non-activity).  Maybe you even get to enjoy some relaxing from time to time.  For me, relaxing is elusive...even on vacation.

For this reason, I decided to treat myself with one of Martha's recipes for a Body Scrub.  Just mix epsom salts with oil and a few drops of your favorite essential oil.  I added rosemary oil to mine and mixed it outside...just in case it was messy.

It wasn't messy, but eau de Pepe La Pew was it smelly.  I must have unknowingly created some sort of science experiment because I could hardly stand to be around the concoction when it was complete.

So I quickly closed it up....

...and headed to the beach to try it out. 

My fellow-mommy friend and I scrubbed our heels then walked into the water to rinse it off.  My feet were soft and mommy had some legitimate self-pampering...For approximately three minutes until one of our children started to cry.

No rest for the weary.

Day One Hundred Three: Plan B Watermelon Punch

I am officially on vacation.

But this blog is not on vacation, so I'm carving out a few hours away from the beach to be with you...

I had great plans to make Rose Sangria today, but the nearest grocery did not have white cranberry juice, and the liquor store had never heard of Framboise.  I did buy a watermelon, however, and so I had to go with Plan B:  Martha's watermelon punch and bowl.

Watermelon:

Cut watermelon:

Slice off a small portion to create a flat bottom.

Scoop out watermelon...

....and puree in your nearest blender:

Strain the solids:

Add some seltzer and you have....

...the juice of a watermelon, aka Watermelon Punch.  It's refreshing but must be served chilled....otherwise it's not all that appealing.  I thought the kids would lap this up after a day at the beach...but they didn't really love it.  I'll be drinking this later in the week, improved with some tequila or possibly rum...

p.s.  Thanks, A, for the impeccably stocked kitchen.  I just may use all the amenities by the end of the week!

Day One Hundred Two: A Barry Essential Packing List

I'm packing for our summer vacation.  This means I'm packing not only for myself, but also for my three children.  Packing your Everyday Essentials should not be much of a challenge.  Unless you are a mother, in which case it is the equivalent of brain surgery.  See, I have a theory:

Mothers around the world experience a loss in cognitive ability (specifically memory) after pregnancy.  We mothers sometimes call this "pregnancy brain". My theory is that while you are pregnant you actually donate some of your brain cells to your children in utero.  Either that or your brain cells actually die during pregnancy.  I haven't worked that part out yet. At any rate, I'm confident that in the future doctors will discover mothers' brain cell loss.  It will be documented and confirmed.  They will (should) name it after me.  You can say you heard it here first.

Wait and see.

At any rate, I packed up the kids and was satisfied.  Just to make sure I had everything, I checked Martha's Kids Summer Essentials Packing List.  Just as I suspected (and theory confirmed), I had forgotten kids pajamas, hair elastics, head phones (for the plane), and Barry, the teddy bear.

If we would have left Barry, I would have never heard the end of it.

Thank you, Martha.  You have helped me avert disaster once again.

Day One Hundred One: Nothing To Go Banana Bread About

My kids love bananas.  They eat bananas contantly.  Except when they don't eat bananas constantly and I'm left with over-ripe bananas.  I never know when to expect this banana boycot and so I'm sometimes left with an armful of over-ripe bananas.  I freeze them to use for banana bread later.  Right now, my freezer is nearly filled to capacity with bananas.  It's banana bread time.

:cue MC Hammer:

Actually, I tried Martha's banana bread once before and it didn't work out.  Martha calls for a 9 x 5 x 3-inch loaf pan.  I used a slightly smaller loaf pan.  The result was that a good deal of the banana bread spilled over the edges of the loaf pan and into the oven.  The resulting smoke not only set off the smoke detectors, it also caused the entire loaf of banana bread to smell like smoke.

Needless to say I threw that loaf away.

So I thought I should try the recipe again.  This time with the correct-size loaf pan.

This recipe has a secret ingredient:  


:dramatic pause:




Sour. Cream. 


(Okay, maybe it's not really secret.  Maybe you've heard of using sour cream in your banana bread before.  I had not, so it was a secret for me.)  At any rate, the sour cream makes the most yummy creamy batter.  You just want to eat it up before it goes in the oven.

(It looks better in person).

This time all my banana bread stayed in the loaf pan and it turned out beautifully.

The resulting (sour-cream-infused) banana bread is very moist...

...but nothing to run shouting down the street about.  I had such high hopes, too.  My family will eat it, but I will continue looking for an amazing banana bread recipe.

I have a bumper crop of frozen bananas to experiment on.

Day One Hundred: Tag, Your Luggage Is Adorable

We are headed to the beach in a few days.  Since we are flying there, I figured it was a good excuse to make Martha's kids' luggage tags for the kids' bags.  I can use these in the Fall when the kids head back to school, too.

Martha's are cute, but you have to make your own template.  I found these self-adhesive laminating luggage tags that are business-card size.  I used the business card template on my word processing application to make mine. (You have one too, just look for it.)  I decided to add a photo because I thought it would be cute, and it would help any adults trying to match a kid with a (lost) bag.

On one side I wrote the kids' names and on the other I wrote:  "If lost, call my mom at xxx-xxx-xxxx".

Resulting luggage tags:

These. are. so. stinking. cute.  I'm probably going to make one for every-kid-I-know's birthday.  In fact, if I know you, and you are planning on inviting me to your kid's party, you should probably go ahead and email me a photo of your kid right now.

I'll let you go pick a cute one now.


p.s.  I can't believe 100 days have passed in this project.  Time has flown by.  Thanks for reading.  Hope you enjoy reading this blog as much as I enjoy writing it.

Day Ninety-Nine: How to Shut Up Your Smoke Detector

One of the smoke detectors in my house is chirping.  It started chirping a few days ago.  This noise is meant to be a reminder that the battery is going low and that it needs to be replaced.  I usually leave this job to my husband because I hate heights and well, it seems like a husbandly responsibility.  But, since the smoke detector only seems to chirp (reminder!) when I'm home alone, I should take care of it before it starts to chirp (reminder!) in the middle of the night.

Which it did last night.

By code, homes in my city should have a smoke detector in each bedroom and one on each floor.  This adds up to a lot of smoke detectors.  Martha says you should change these batteries twice a year or whenever it begins to chirp.  (Reminder!)  MS Homekeeping Handbook, p. 653.  I guess that's my cue.

This morning, I pulled out the ladder, crawled up and tried to open the smoke detector.  Having never attempted this before, I only managed to pull the whole thing down from the ceiling.  Luckily, it was still attached by the electrical wires and (all) I had to do was attach it back to the ceiling with a twist-and-lock mechanism.  You are probably familiar with these sorts of gadgets.  Clever little things.

The problem with these damn clever twist-and-freaking-lock gadgets is that they are rather tricky when you can't actually see the holes into which you are supposed to twist-and-lock.  Ten minutes (and one aching arm) later, I managed to attach the smoke detector back onto the ceiling.

And then it chirped at me. (Reminder!)



Me:     Yes, I know, Mr. Smoke Detector.  I haven't actually changed the battery yet.  Thanks so-stinking-much for the reminder.

Smoke Detector:      :Chirp:



Ah.  I see.  There is a little battery drawer.  I've never heard of a battery drawer before, but here is what it looks like, in case you were wondering:

New installed battery:

Once I had put away the ladder and had begun feeling rather proud and clever, another smoke detector began to chirp. (Reminder!)


Is it just me, or are these things mocking me?

Day Ninety Eight: Marry Tender Ribs

Bar-b-que Ribs are one of my guilty pleasures.  I don't know who loves them more:  me or my husband.  I frequently ask beg him to make ribs.  This occasionally takes some eyelash-batting, but he usually relents.  Really good ribs are too time-consuming to be a week-night meal, but today I wanted some.  The grill is not my territory (after all isn't that what we have men for?) but I have been known to try them inside, not with much success.  Nevertheless, when I saw Martha's recipe for Braised Short Ribs, I thought I might give it a try.

My son also loves ribs.  When he saw I was making them, he hopped into action.  Little hands dusting the short ribs in flour:

The ribs are then browned in a Dutch oven:

Browned ribs:

Then you throw in some veggies and brown those guys too:

Throw in some broth and a (whole!) bottle of wine:

Then throw the ribs in the pot, put it in the oven for two hours and you have this:

A-maz-ing.  These ribs are melt-in-your-mouth, fall-off-the-bone, there-won't-be-any-leftovers-so-you-better-eat-your-full good.  Forget Engagement Chicken.  I'm pretty sure my husband would have married me all over again after these ribs.  Eyelash batting not needed.

Day Ninety Seven: Fun With Tape and Other Practical Jokes

Besides being Father's Day on Sunday, my anniversary is on Saturday.  I'm sure my husband feels a little cheated in the gift department, but since my birthday is right after Valentine's Day, I'm not sympathetic. 

At any rate, I bought my hubby a little gift for our anniversary.  Just because he complains that I put too much tape on gifts (making them hard to open), I decided to take Martha's suggestion and use decorative tape instead of ribbon on his gift.  So now, not only is the gift tightly wrapped with regular tape, but also there is a (decorative) layer of tape on top.  The thing is like Fort Knox.  He'll never get it open.  I can hardly contain my own giggles at the thought.

The tape comes on a roll just like a packing tape:

Finished product below.  I considered making stripes or possibly a plaid-design so as to really cover the whole thing in this tape.

This is going to be good.  I'm considering timing how long it takes him to get it open.

Day Ninety Six: Hard-as-a-Skillet Skillet Cookie

I research and write this blog from my home.  Often at my kitchen table.  The problem with this arrangement is that my children often sneak walk up behind me to see what I'm doing.  If the item I'm looking at happens to be one of Martha's fabulous dessert items, I inevitably get a request to make said dessert.

Well, it's usually not a request.  It would be more accurately characterized as begging.

Today, when I was researching my blog at MarthaStewart.com, my son walked up behind me while I was opened to Martha's Skillet-Baked Chocolate Chip Cookies.  You can guess what happened next.  Now, I generally have very little problem telling my kids "no" once or twice.  I get a little worn down after the fiftieth time.  In the past few days, my normally high tolerance for begging has been worn down by my son begging for a pet bird.  So, after a couple begging requests and two sets of puppy-dog eyes later, I relented and pulled out the skillet and chocolate chips.

I have had some pretty fantastic failures so far on this blog.  Mostly, these have been a result of my inability to channel my inner-Martha.  The recipes have been good.  But I'm not so sure this one was my fault.  I followed the directions perfectly.  Completed batter poured into the skillet:

Batter patted down into the skillet:

Resulting lovely golden-brown (and nearly rock hard) skillet cookie:

This dessert, while easy to make, was so rock hard that even my son would not eat it.  He ate exactly two bites before he asked me if we could "save it for tomorrow".  Then about two minutes later he asked if his "cookie cake" would be "more soft" tomorrow.  When I asked what he meant, he replied:

"You know, will it taste better tomorrow?"

No, son, it won't.

Day Ninety Five: May The Wrap Be With You

Father's Day is coming soon.  This means besides buying a gift for those fathers in your life, you also need to wrap said gifts.  Martha had a really cute idea to use kid's artwork as wrapping paper.  If you are like me, you bought your kids an art table and/or easel hoping to provide your kids with hours of entertainment and yourself with hours of peace and quiet.  During the twenty minutes your children played with this item, the eerie quiet only made you concerned for the safety of your walls. The result is that you now have a roll of craft paper a mile long on which your children have expressed their inner Pablo Picasso.

Instead of sneaking that paper into the recycling when your kids aren't looking, use it like this.  Your children will think they are brilliant artists.  This is a scene I cut out of my roll.  It is my husband and son dueling with light sabers.  Apparently my husband is the one with the large green ears.  He's Yoda.  I'm not sure which character the spiky-haired bugger is supposed to be.   

Competed gift-box featuring Yoda light-sabre scene:

The only problem is that I think my husband is going to like the wrapping paper more than what's inside.

Day Ninety Four: Butter Makes It Better

I read Martha's article about compound or flavored butters ages ago, but have never made any. According to Martha, they are easy to make and add a "quick burst of flavor to meals".  I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds intriguing.  As an avid butter fan, I had to try it.  :paging Paula Deen:  

I chose Martha's Jalapeno Butter and Herb Butter.  Hmmm.  My mouth is watering just thinking about the possibilities. 

Chopped jalapenos and garlic with room-temperature butter: 

Room-temperature butter with assorted herbs:

Once you mix it up, plop it on some parchment paper and roll it up.  Refrigerate and slice it off as you need it.

I planned to use the Jalapeno butter on a couple of grilled Porterhouse steaks per Martha's serving suggestion.  Unfortunately, our grill is currently floating away in a torrential rain storm.  No outdoor grilling tonight.  I guess that "quick burst of flavor" will just have to wait until tomorrow.

Day Ninety Three: Oh Brother, Where Art Thou Seafood?

In case you were wondering, I have the best big brother ever.  (I have two rockin' big sisters, too, but I will sing those praises later.)  One of the reasons: my bro is a big fisherman and every time he goes fishing he brings me back something good.

And if I haven't said before:   I  :heart:  seafood.

For me, fresh seafood is right up there with my two favorite food items:
1) things-stuffed-with-cheese, and
2) things-wrapped-in-bacon.

So, I hit the seafood jackpot this week when my brother brought me some very fresh tuna. I had to take advantage and make Martha's Seviche and her Tuna Tartare.  Since both are basically raw fish, very fresh seafood is imperative.

The seviche "cooks" in citrus juice, so this recipe starts by soaking the tuna in lime juice for four hours:

(That is my son's styracosaurus dinosaur mask in the background. He was a dinosaur today.)

When it's ready you add the meat to the fresh veggies and avocado:

The divine result:

Technically I was supposed to use a white fish, but the end product did not suffer for the substitution.  De-lish.  

I took the other tuna and made Martha's Tuna Tartare.  There is no pretense with this dish.  It's not "cured".  It's just raw. 

Fish being mixed with chives (from my garden), mayo and soy sauce:

Martha recommends serving the tartare on a waffle-cut potato chip....Yes, a potato chip. Believe it.

This recipe, while excellent and very simple, is erroneously touted as being "spicy" tuna tartare.  I tripled the Sriracha (Asian chili sauce), before I just started squirting the stuff in the mix until I thought it was spicy enough.  Apparently whoever wrote this recipe also wrote Martha's recipe for Jambalaya.  That is to say, if the original recipe is spicy, I'm the Queen of England.

The next time I hit the seafood jackpot, I will make these again.  If you ever hit the seafood jackpot, give me a call.  I'll be happy to bring the Sriracha and potato chips.