Day Twenty Five: Happy Lopsided Birthday to You!

I have been walking on air since the piped-rose cupcakes two days ago.  If it were socially acceptable, I would wear one of those beauty-queen sashes that reads:  Piped-Icing Queen.  Maybe a tiara, too.

Tomorrow is my oldest daughter's third birthday. Even with the icing success, I'll admit that I really wanted to go buy her a cake:  a really lovely cake with pretty icing that I didn't have to make myself.

I wonder if Martha ever bought a cake for her daughter's birthday.

I decided in the end that making the cake would probably take me the same amount of time as it would if I loaded my three kids into the car, drove to the bakery, found a parking space, unloaded said kids, found a satisfactory cake, paid for said cake, loaded the kids back into the car and drove home.  So I made this cake:

 The plan was to model it after Martha's Tiniest Birthday Cake.  But before I could frost the cake, Martha dictates that I trim that top to create an even surface.  One could do this with a knife, OR one of these useless handy cake-slicer things:

This contraption's purpose is to drive you crazy even out cakes, or cut layers to make layered cakes.

After several passes with the cake slicer, my cake was quite a bit shorter than when I started. In fact, instead of a birthday cake, my creation resembles more of a birthday pie. Plus, instead of having a lovely, rounded top, my cake looks like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Or at least its shorter, fatter cousin.

After you've created a flat surface, you can begin applying the icing.

If you've never seen icing applied by a professional on TV, it looks like this:  Chef scoops up a large dollop of icing with a spatula, handily flicks the icing onto the cake and begins spreading.

I'm here to tell you:  Aiming icing is harder than it looks.

Luckily I had plenty of icing because some much of it ended up on the counter, nowhere in the vicinity of the cake.

After I managed to cover the cake with icing, I figured I should smooth it out to make it look pretty.  Martha suggests you smooth the icing by rotating the cake, smoothing the icing as you turn. This process looks like this:

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

Smooth the icing, turn the cake, Smooth the icing, turn the cake

....for the rest of your life or until it's time to eat the cake.

 I gave up smoothing the icing after my arm starting going numb.

The result of my hard work:

It's a sad, sad sight, I know...but it was made with love.

Tomorrow I'm going to let the kids decorate it with candy and icing.  Maybe all the candy will camouflage the fact that the cake leans and the icing has been smoothed-to-death.

I'll be returning that Icing Queen sash.  But I'm keeping the tiara.

Update:
The kiddos were ecstatic to decorate the cake with candy:

  By the time they finished, the icing had finger-shaped indentions, but the cake's lean was undetectable thanks to the mountain of candy and sprinkles.