Day Three Hundred Sixty Five: Longest Cake Ever

It's finally here.  The very last day.  I can hardly believe it's been a year.  Happy anniversary to me! I should definitely buy myself a gift.

For my grand finale I decided to choose a special cake recipe, a photo of which graces the cover of one of Martha's books: Martha Stewart Living's 2002 Annual Recipes. The Cover Girl Recipe in this case is Alma Etheridge Wilson's Roanoke Sixteen-Layer Chocolate Fudge Cake. (p. 134).

Yes, that really is the name of the cake.  You can't make this stuff up, people.  This cake has the distinction of being the cake with the longest name ever.*  The only thing longer than its name is the length of time it takes to put this cake together.  I started making this cake at noon on Wednesday and finally cut into it about 9 p.m.  That's a lot of work for a measly eight-inch cake.

* As determined by me, just now, for the purposes of this blog.

Martha doesn't have this recipe online, but it is very similar to her Darkest Chocolate Crepe Cake, which also looks delicious but lacks the lengthy moniker.

You may be wondering why this cake took so long to make.  You start by preparing an eight-inch cake pan by coating it with cooking spray and lining the bottom with a parchment circle (that you've cut out beforehand, natch).  Then coat the parchment with cooking spray and dust with flour, shaking out the excess.  Add a half-cup of batter to the pan and spread the batter evenly. Cook for ten minutes, turning halfway through the baking.  This results in layers that are approximately 1/4 inch thick.

Martha suggests you cook two cakes at one time, repeating the process described above a mere eight times.  Since I only had one eight-inch cake pan, I repeated the process sixteen times.

Alma Etheridge Wilson's Roanoke Sixteen-Layer Chocolate Fudge Cake, remember?

So basically every five minutes I was either turning a pan, removing a pan, removing a cake layer,  cutting a parchment circle or cleaning the stupid solitary eight-inch cake pan I own.

It was a long, long afternoon.

Truthfully I only ended with fourteen layers because I lost two layers in the baking process:  one layer could not bear to be parted from the cake pan and broke apart as I was trying to remove it;  conversely, the other layer flung itself to the floor in a rather dramatic fashion.

And that's truly how it happened.

One of the 1/4 inch thick layers below. Apparently layer number fourteen.  I began to number the layers around hour three in an effort of self-encouragement.

After several hours of baking, I'm was ready to build the cake.  You make the glaze by melting chocolate in hot evaporated milk, mixed with sugar and light corn syrup. Layer one:

 Covered with a couple tablespoons of fudge glaze:

Each layer is sandwiched with chocolate (or is it the other way around?) This is about layer four:

 Halfway through:

When the cake is finished, drizzle the remaining glaze over the top of the cake.

 Unfortunately, the top layer of the cake began to break under the stress of all that delectable chocolate....

 ....If I had a video, you'd see the top layer of the cake riding a wave of fudge glaze, making a run for it and actually sliding right off the top of the cake...and onto the counter.

Could this cake look uglier?  I think not.  I'm always optimistic, however, and still had high hopes.

It's not half bad-looking when cut, right?

In comparison with the cover photo:

Okay, so maybe it is pretty bad. 

As I said, it was late before I cut into this cake and served a piece to my official taste-tester, who is known in certain circles as my husband. When I revealed how long I'd spent baking, he nearly fell off his chair laughing.  His verdict:  had I wanted to make a mushy cake, I could have done so in a lot less time.  

I couldn't be mad because it's the truth. I was hoping to end with something knock-your-socks-off fabulous, but the truth is so much more interesting.

And so my little experiment is at an end.  It's been fun.  It's been frustrating.  I've learned that Martha and her minions are some talented people.  I learned how to make some amazing things, and I've suffered through some embarrassing experiments.  I hope you've learned something, too.  If not, I hope you at least had a chuckle or two at my expense.

I'm sure I will continue to post projects and disasters, but with much less regularity.  Maybe One Martha a Month? ...Stay tuned.

Thanks for reading.
xoxo
MRS

Day Three Hundred Sixty Four: Chocolate-Ricotta Icebox Cake

On my second-to-last Martha day, I made Martha's Chocolate-Ricotta Icebox Cake.  I've been running across this cake for weeks at MarthaStewart.com. It seemed to be everywhere I turned. I started to think Martha was sending me subliminal messages. Yesterday I relented.  Apparently it only takes about 30 minutes to build, before setting up in the refrigerator for a couple hours.  My husband was rather bamboozled by the concept of an "icebox" cake.  He's practically Canadian, so he didn't realize that we Southerners sometimes call the refrigerator an "icebox"....because it used to be a big box that held ice.

Not the most creative name, I admit. But it was accurate.

Anyway, after you've lined the springform pan like a Christmas package, mix melted chocolate with ricotta and whipped cream.  That's all for the filling. Then build the cake:

Start by putting a layer of chocolate wafers on the bottom:  

Cover that layer with half the chocolate-ricotta mixture, then cover with another layer of chocolate wafers:

Top with the other half of the chocolate-ricotta mixture.

Allow the cake to set up in the icebox (aka refrigerator) for two hours or up to two days. 
  
The finished cake looks odd...

 ...but the sliced cake looks lovely.  (To make the curled chocolate garnish, just shave a block of chocolate with a vegetable peeler.) 

Take one bite into this beauty and prepared to be.....colossally under-whelmed.  If this were a movie, you might ask for your money back.  I'd like to take back the meagre half hour it took to make this dessert...and the calories I ingested tasting it.

Do you think Martha's offers that sort of refund?    

Day Three Hundred Sixty Three: Ruffle Tower Cake

A few months ago I found Martha's Ruffle Tower Cake and I've wanted to try it ever since.  Unfortunately all that piping of icing was rather daunting and I forgot about it.

Ok, so I was procrastinating.

With only three days to go it's now or never so I decided on Monday to give it a try.  It's a multi-layer cake covered in Martha's Swiss Meringue Buttercream icing.  The icing alone is worth the effort.  After layering the cake and tinting the icing pink, you are ready to begin the hard part:  piping the icing into these adorable little ruffles.

It's not hard, really.  Using a #103 tip (it looks like a teardrop) make long zig-zags up the side of the cake until the cake is covered.  I should have allowed my icing to chill a little longer in the refrigerator because the heat from my hands caused the icing to warm up a little too much.  The result is that my little ruffles are a tad droopy.    

Not bad, but I could have done better.

Clearly, I have not yet mastered cutting the cake into even layers.

I swear I had not been drinking when I cut these.  I clearly have a cake-leveling handicap.

Day Three Hundred Sixty One: Irresistible Fruit Tart

I've mentioned before that I love making tarts. Martha's Fruit Tart is one of the first I ever made.  It's delicious, simple and best of all:  looks like you bought it at a fancy bakery.

Martha has her own crust recipe that's very good, but you can use a store bought crust if you're short for time.  Your guests probably won't notice and I promise not to tell a soul.

Either way, fill the pie tin with weights or dried beans and bake until the edges turn golden brown.  Meanwhile make the filling, which is a mixture of whipped heavy cream and a rich pastry cream. (Confession: I have been known to use a pie filling from a jar in a pinch.)  Make a glaze by warming a seedless jelly in a saucepan and stirring until smooth.

Spoon the pastry cream or pie filling into the cooked tart.  Top with berries. Brush with the glaze if you want the tart to have that shiny wet look.

It's irresistible and people always want to know where I bought it.

As if.

Day Three Hundred Fifty Three: Happy Birthday Favors

As part of the favors for my birthday dinner, I spent the morning of my birthday making one of Martha's favorite chocolate chip cookies: Jacques Torres's Secret Chocolate Chip Cookies.  Since the recipe makes about 10,0000  100 cookies, it was no small task.  Even though I've made them before, I still love these cookies. I think I might have cooked a few batches a couple minutes long, but hey--a girl is sometimes too knee-deep in Downton Abbey to notice a timer chime.

I use an ice-cream scoop to make sure all the cookies are exactly the same size:

Once the cookies cooled, I put them in the favor boxes with the chocolate nut clusters, (minus the jam-filled muffin coffeecakes), along with a few other goodies. 

I tied them up with bakers string and topped the whole thing off with my personalized favor tag.

Even though my husband made fun of me for making them, I know several guests enjoyed them on the car ride home.

Happy Birthday to me.

Day Three Hundred Fifty Two: Gettin' My Jam On (Everything)

As I mentioned when I made the Personalized Gift Tags, my birthday was Friday.  My husband planned a dinner with a few friends, and I wanted to make little boxes of late-night snacks for them to take home.  As part of the boxes, I thought to include a little something for breakfast the next morning.  I decided on Martha's Jam-Filled Coffee Cake Muffins because they look seriously decadent and I thought the crumbly, brown-sugar top would keep them moist until they were ready to eat.  (I don't know this to be the case, I was just guessing.)

Martha's recipe calls for the muffins to be made in 2 3/4-inch by 2-inch panettone papers, which are basically fancy, slightly sturdier, cupcake liners.  Despite heroic efforts, I was unable to find panettone papers that size.  I decided to try these adorable, slightly smaller paper muffin cups.  Since these cups are smaller than the suggested cups, I divided the batter between fifteen muffins cups instead of twelve.

Divided batter in ridiculously adorable muffin cups:

A teaspoon of strawberry jam on top:

Covered with a brown-sugar crumble:

I can smell success...or is that just the brown sugar?



About twenty minutes later I checked the oven to find this:

Hmmm.  Looks like I should have used a few more cups.  Nary a single muffin was presentable for my guests.  If you ignored the dripping dough on the outside, however, and actually ate one... They. Are. Delicious.  A herd of elephants or Justin Beiber fans could not keep me from trying this again.

Day Three Hundred Forty Eight: Nutty About Chocolate

On Monday I made Martha's Dark Chocolate Nut Clusters to include in my birthday favor bags.  They are a handful of almonds held together with rich, dark chocolate.  Sweet and salty. Perfect for late-night snacking.

First you melt the chocolate in a double boiler.  I'd like to point out that I followed the chocolate-melting guidelines and my chocolate melted beautifully.

Ta-da!

(Note:  I was so excited the chocolate melted correctly, I did a little dance for the stovetop.)

To make the nut clusters, just drop a few teaspoons of this yummy chocolate on a non-stick surface.  Drop a few almonds on the chocolate base and finish by drizzling with more chocolate on top.  Put in the refrigerator to harden.

The result is not only pretty, but so good, you'll find them hard to keep out of your mouth.

Day Three Hundred Forty Four: Chocolate Happens

After my success with the chocolate fondue on Tuesday, I decided to make my husband Martha's Chocolate-Covered Strawberries.  I figured it couldn't be very hard to melt chocolate and dip strawberries into it.

Chopped nuts for garnish?  Check:

Gorgeous strawberries, ready for dipping?  Check:

Rock hard chocolate? Check:

You might be wondering..."Isn't that chocolate supposed to be melted?"  Why yes, clever person, it should be.  But the longer I melted the chocolate in the double boiler, the harder it became.  I practically had to chisel it out of the bowl when I was done.

Needless to say no strawberries were dipped into chocolate that night. (Sorry, honey.)

The next day I did a little internet research and found out that making one of the following mistakes will cause your melted chocolate to "seize":  1) heating the chocolate over too high of heat, or  2) allowing steam/moisture from the double boiler to get into the chocolate.

I'm pretty sure I didn't do one of these things.  I positive I did both.

I've always been a bit of an over-achiever.

Day Three Hundred Forty Three: Chocolate Fun-due

As a little treat for my kids I made Martha's Chocolate Fondue on Tuesday.  I had not thought of it before, but what could be more fun for kids than dipping fruit into melted chocolate?  That has to rank up there with making your own ice cream sundae.

Fondue is simple enough to do:  just melt chocolate with heavy cream. It turns into a lovely, glossy chocolate-y dip.  I served a few spoonfuls with some dried peaches, strawberries and marshmallows.  The kids were overjoyed at the prospect.

If you try this at home, fair warning:  It took about four minutes for my middle daughter to be completely covered in chocolate....and she's usually a pretty pristine eater.

In addition to nearly ruining a darn cute cardigan, she also managed a pretty impressive chocolate mustache.  She was so covered with chocolate that afterward, I undressed her and hosed her off in the shower.

The kids found the whole chocolate business very entertaining.

Day Three Hundred Forty Two: Hugs and Kisses Anyway

For my son's Kindergarten class, I decided to make Martha's X and O's Cupcakes for Valentine's Day.  They look like this:

They are simple cupcakes and icing with those little round cinnamon candies in the shape of little X's and O's. I  was impressed with my decision:  cupcakes, icing AND candy?  What Kindergartener wouldn't be tickled pink?

I happened to buy the cinnamon candies first and let my six-year old try them. Like most kids his age, he has an loose, almost liberal policy on candy:  he never declines it.  He liked the cinnamon candies so much he nearly gagged on them.

I think his candy policy is more conservative now.

So, I bagged the X's and O's and made Martha's Chocolate Cupcakes instead.  I tinted the icing pink and piped it onto the cute, if less clever, chocolate cupcakes.

I didn't hear any complaints when the empty cupcake platter arrived home that afternoon.  I think they were a hit.

Day Three Hundred Forty One: I Heart You

I can't believe I have only a few weeks left of this experiment.  If you've been following all along I will admit:  I am slogging through these last few weeks.  It's been a very busy spring for me and I've fallen behind on my blogging.

But I'm still here.  I'm like the tortoise and the hare.  In my life I'm the hare.  On this blog I'm the tortoise.  But like that intrepid little turtle, I will make it to the end.

After my failure with the meringue hearts I had to make something else for my daughter's pre-k class.  I decided on Martha's Brownie Hearts.

After making a batch of brownies, just take a heart-shaped cookie cutter to cut out the hearts:

Finished heart:

 

Adorable, no?  I got about six hearts out of one batch of brownies.  With my clever head for numbers, I quickly realized I would be baking brownies all night long in order to feed a classroom of three-year olds heart-shaped brownies. 

I decided on almost-as-adorable, if much less curvy, brownie squares.

I don't think the three-year olds noticed the difference.

Day Three Hundred Forty: Breaking My Heart

I volunteered to make a Valentine's Day treat for my kids' classes and so over the weekend I tried a recipe I was sure would be a hit with the under-three crowd:  Martha's Meringue Hearts.

I have had such success with meringue that it has truly become one of my most favorite desserts.  It can be cake!  It can be frosting!  What's not to love?  

With this recipe I made a basic meringue, tinted it with pink, then piped hearts onto a baking sheet.  I let my kids sprinkle the cookies with heart-shaped sprinkles and following the recipe, set to bake...for two and a half hours.

Unfortunately that seemed to be about half an hour too long. Because while my cookies looked great, they tasted a little burnt.  I tossed the entire batch.

What a heart-breaker.

Day Three Hundred Thirty Eight: Cinnamon Buns

With all these photos I've been snapping and saving lately, my poor little computer is filling up.  He's like your grandpa after Thanksgiving dinner:  slow and sleepy.  I've made some efforts to clean up and delete extra files, but in my deleting fervor, I permanently deleted some photos for this blog that I had not posted yet.

:bangs head against wall:  

So, while on Thursday I made Martha's Cinnamon-Nut Buns, (sans nuts) this is the only photo you will see to illustrate their yummy goodness.  Martha's photo:

Since you won't get to see the photo of the cinnamon buns I made, I might be tempted to tell you how wonderful they were and how I basically knocked this recipe out of the proverbial ballpark.

I didn't.

The baseball metaphor may still be appropriate, however, since my cinnamon buns were hard as rocks.  

Day Three Hundred Thirty Seven: Scones For You

Thursday I made Martha's Blueberry-Almond Scones...without the almonds.  I am sure they are lovely with almonds, but since my son has a nut allergy I decided to leave them out.  These are surprisingly easy to make, and you get to use a pastry blender, which is this little medevial-looking torture device.

In case you were wondering, a pastry blender cuts the butter into little crumbly pieces, which results in lovely, flakey breads.  You could accomplish the same thing with a couple of knives, but a pastry blender looks much cooler.

I guess there are several ways to make scones.  After the dough is made you can either: scoop them with a spoon and drop them onto a baking sheet (like a traditional cookie), or you can pat the dough into a circle and cut the into pizza-style triangles.  If you use the latter method, you end up with these perfect triangles of flakey, blueberry goodness:

These were so pretty they looked store-bought.  I was unreasonably proud of them and took more photos of them than a Vogue cover model.   I was so proud, in fact, I packed some up and left them on the doorstep of my British BFF.  She enjoyed them throughly.

And I didn't even have to impress her with my pastry blender-wielding skills.

Day Three Hundred Thirty Five: Birthday Brownies

Around Christmas I made Martha's Truffle Brownies for my daughter's teachers.  Since a few of them still mention said brownies (some six weeks later), I thought I would try them again...with a twist.  See, I keep seeing Martha's recipe for Chocolate-Caramel Cookie Bars, which are sprinkled in sea salt. Salty and sweet in one bite?  My interest is piqued. So, instead of sprinkling the truffle brownies with little heart-shaped sprinkles, I sprinkled them with a little sea salt.  

The brownies turned out beautifully, but I have to admit: I got a little carried away with the salt.  I don't know what came over me.  As I started to sprinkle those big flakes of salt on the brownies, my mind wandered.  I started thinking that the salt flakes were little white sprinkles....and boy did I sprinkle the heck out of those brownies.

:shakes head:

I don't even know what to say in my own defense.

When I realized what I'd done, I tripped leaped over a lego tower and dug through the drawer dove for my trusty pastry brush.  Luckily, I was able to brush off the excess salt.  (Triumph!) The (slightly less salty) brownies were nothing short of amazing.  I packed up the brownies and gave them to a friend as an early birthday present.

Because everyone knows birthday calories don't count.

Day Three Hundred Thirty Three: Brownie Lovin'

After making many of Martha's amazing brownies, I decided to try them all.  After all, I'm near the end of my little experiment. There are only a few I haven't made.  One untried recipe is Martha's Caramel Pecan Brownies.  It's a really easy recipe that includes cayenne pepper.

Yes, cayenne powder.  That red spicy stuff.

The cayenne powder cuts the sweetness of the brownies and caramel, but it doesn't make the brownies spicy.  I mixed the pecans in the brownie batter rather than sprinkle them on top, so I could swirl the caramel in a pretty design on the top.

Like the rest of the brownie recipes...these were delicious.  In fact, they were so good that I forced myself to give them away to a friend.  I knew I couldn't trust myself with a full pan of these amazing brownies overnight.

I should have issued a warning with the gift.  The brownies didn't last until the next morning at her house either.

Day Three Hundred Thirty One: Super Brownies

I've made a slew of Martha's brownies during this little experiment.  They've all been fantastic. I can't think of one recipe that was sub-par.  Unfortunately, they've all been so good I can't tell you which one is best.  (Maybe I'll have to hold a Brownie Bake-Off.  Anybody want to be a judge? Applications are currently being accepted.)

Here is yet another contender: Martha's Chocolate-Chip Brownies.  They are basically a deliciously fudgy brownie with chocolate chips mixed in the batter.  Now, I know you're thinking what I'm thinking:

You had me at fudgy brownie.

Before I had a chance to see if the second bite was as good at the first, my kids and their friends stole the pan quite out from under my nose.  Shockingly quick little buggers.  Needless to say, the kid's loved them.  In fact, I'm pretty sure I've risen in the estimation of several children between the ages of three and six.

One of them suggested I get a cape.

I think I'd look good in a cape.

Day Three Hundred Twenty Three: Animal House Sugar Cookies

My three-year old daughter's class studied hibernation last week.  On Friday, they had a Hibernation Party and all the kids wore their pajamas and brought a stuffed animal to hibernate in a "Hibernation Station".  To add to the fun, I brought bear-shaped cookies for the kids.  I used Martha's Flower Sugar Cookies and Royal Icing recipes.  I needed 40 cookies for the party.  This recipe claims it makes 24 cookies.  (This is my nice way of questioning the counting abilities of the person who wrote this recipe.)  I only got about a 10 cookies out of this batch. Maybe it was because the bear-shaped cookie cutter was so large. :shrug:

 If you recall, sugar cookies are not my strong suit.  I am capable of rolling out the dough and cutting the cookies, but I have a major handicap when it comes to transferring said cookies intact onto a baking sheet.  They always end up slightly deformed. So needless to say, finishing ten cookies that still looked like bears took me quite some time.  That was a lot of work for only ten stupid cookies.

Undecorated cookie:

Confession: It is at this point that I went to my local supermarket and bought a box of sugar cookie mix.  I was being lazy, and was pressed for time.  It would be a cold day in hell before I would reproduce Martha's fabulous recipe three more times. I was ready to curse the day I bought that bear-shaped cookie cutter. After making about ten more cookies, I had to enlist my husband into buying more mix for these dang cookies.

It was this point that my husband's mother, the consummate baker, called our house.  And, of course, my husband tells her that we are making cookies from a box.  I was mortified.  Were she dead, I'm sure this sort of information would cause her to roll face down.  As it is, I could almost hear her mental scoff through the phone.

Box cookies, indeed.

I hope all of you, (and she) will forgive the transgression.  It is not one I hope to repeat.

At any rate, with the cookies finally (finally!) cooked, I was able to decorate them. Martha's icing recipe is fabulous.  It's runny enough that it smooths beautifully on a cookie.  (You have to use a thicker version for the outline.)  The meringue powder gives the icing a little sheen like you see on professionally-baked cookies.  These are my bears:

Bear Cookie outlined in black icing:

This one sort of looks like a horse:

An aardvark perhaps?  Not sure if aardvarks hibernate.

Completed cookies:

Those are little chocolate sprinkles on his bum.  (For a three-dimensional I'm-pretending-I-know-what-I'm-doing look.)

 The aardvark:

The cookies looked great and (since I'm the only one who tasted both) no one noticed that some of the cookies were from a box.  (Shhh.  It's our secret.)  Except for the mutant versions, I was excessively pleased with myself.

Maybe a little too pleased. :dancing around the living room: